Coffee & Cupcakes

Evening readers, I do hope this finds you cosied up on the sofa with a big mug of hot chocolate, woolly pj's and slippers! Winter is definitely coming and the feeling of Christmas is begining to bear its festive head! I write however, to bring a little sunshine to a cold night and take your mind far from the rain and wind that currently batters my living room window, to a hot hot land, many miles from my own. For a reason still baffling to us both, Josh and I have decided to venture to the Philippines for 3 weeks next May/June...... with children!! Feel free to gasp at the madness of a 20 hour long journey, followed by 6 hours in a bus journey that lies before us - only then to be melted by the heat, whilst enjoying frog meat and fish stew....which contains ALL the fish!!! Kezzia is currently overly excited by the information that you can watch movies on the airplane - however I'm not sure that excitment will last, as I turn over to film number 4 of the journey... Despit...

Well readers, we have recently been "enduring" the Halloween season - my least favourite time of year. A holiday which has gone from nothing to something which takes over the seasonal aisle of our supermarkets, the content of our cinemas and tv and now even the clothes decorating our shop front displays. I fail to see why so many parents seek to endorse the holiday and encourage their children to participate in it. Obviously as a Christian I disagree with celebrating all that is dark and evil and do not think it is just a silly thing for us to engage with - rather it is an incredibly dangerous season and something worth taking seriously! Whilst I don't believe in the presence of zombies or vampires, I think all that's is represented by Halloween, evil spirits, magic, spells is unfortunately a very real subject and powerful and not even worth joking about. I know and have witnessed in the lives of people the very destruction that can be caused by dabbling in such ...

I did say, many a blog post ago that I would write about the various love languages which can be used to reveal to our children that they are loved. It might seem odd to those of you who have not heard of this before, surely love it love right? Well, yes but the ways we as individuals interpret love are drastically different. Loose yourself for the moment in this scene: You arrive home from work, after leaving your partner in charge for the day, to a messy house, dishes aren't washed the kids toys are everywhere, the clothes did attempt to get into the washing machine but seem to have burped and rippled out. However, on the table in the corner you see a bunch of flowers, nothing fancy but still they stand out - does your heart melt at the flowers and all other mess fades to insignificance or do you miss the flowers in the anger that he didn't even attempt to clean up? If you see the flowers above all else, chance are you're a gifts person - if you miss the flowers and ...

As far as I knew it was a normal Friday evening, I had most of the day off pottering around with Kezzi before heading to work for our weekly Children's Club about 5pm. It was to be my last one before maternity leave began the following Wednesday so we made sure it was fun. The evening was spent making many jokes at the size of my ever growing belly, other leaders preparing to catch the baby as he "popped" out during a game of musical statues... It was all highly commical and a great last evening. It ended with 2 conversations which to this day make me giggle, the first was between me and two good friends, Ben and Jill, two friends who often following club offer me a lift home... However due to the possibility of my waters exploding over their car it was suggested, in much humour I hasten to add, that I look for a lift elsewhere. So I did I decided for once to leave Josh to walk home after youth group and I take the car, the second conversation comes now - Jill commented o...

Hi ho hi ho, it's off to work I went. As promised I thought I would fill you in on my few weeks - and the main change in my life routine was the trip back into the office! My lovely team had decorated my office with presents, posters, flowers and I was even allowed to drive my boss's mx-5 to my favourite totally "girlified" coffee shop for a huge slice of carrot slice! It was a lovely day and I left the children with a lovely friend and young person from our church who I knew the children loved and were excited to spend time with. It was fun, arriving back to work a month before our annual Holiday Club meant there was no time to ease back into things. I was back and my to -do list was already the length of my arm.... and I have weirdly long arms;-) I love my job, if I haven't said I am a Children & Families worker for my church. I get to spend my days doing children clubs, assemblies, popping in on new mums, visiting families, running toddler groups, pla...

Oh dear readers... I am still here! I cannot really explain the madness of the last few weeks, my absence has not been desired and I am so excited to finally have 5 minutes to sit down and write again. How my brain needs that time to breathe and unwind. There are so many things I wish to write about, I went back to work last month, I am now juggling two children, a home, a marriage and a part time job – which hours often resemble more of a full time position! I have led a team running a Holiday Club for 80 children, been fighting with the tax man, ran a 10KM for Cancer Research, had weddings, family illnesses, and so much other stuff – my brain is seriously in overload! So I decided that my first blog would be that to make us all giggle – I know I need it. After my busy week of overseeing a Holiday Club, I decided to give myself a little pampering treat. Yes, after 80 children, every day  I was in need of a little R & R – however on my arrival at the hairdressers, I remembered...

At the family funeral I attended recently, Josh's aunt said something that has stuck with me since and has cause me to ponder many things. She said in relation to the death, through suicide of her husband: "we can choose to remember him by the circumstances around his death, this way allowing bitterness and anger to take root, or we can choose to remember the man we knew for the 60+ years before this! creating a memory of joy filled moments." Part of why that amazes me is because of the strength it must have taken to read that sentence in light of the circumstances but since it has made me think so much about how quickly we judge people and situations... Let me add a moment of light-heartedness to this post. A few weeks ago, it was my lovely friend's birthday, to help Josh and I offered to take her two boys out for a walk while her and her hubby organised the house. Now allow your imagination to wander as you see a young-ish couple walking toward you with what you m...

Happy Father's Day! As I write this my own incredible Dad is recovering from a month trip to the Philippines. I always joke to friends that my dad is quite a legend in the Philippines, and he is but he is also quite a legend in my eyes to! So here are some things that make me incredibly greatful to be able to celebrate my Dad today: - despite being in his fifties, my dad still acts like a 21 year old at times and I love it. He is one of the silliest, funniest people I know (even if it is sometimes at his expense), definitely worth sending him a party invite. - he probably unknowingly taught me as a teenager never to get drunk enough to need an ambulance because it could be him picking me up ... I'm sure this saved me from many drunken mistakes and always ensured I was sober enough to get home safely and in one piece! - Every year for the past 10 years he travels to the Philippines to co-ordinate and set up Theology course which help locals to learn about faith and grow in...

Welcome to another part of my mind... Some would say I am quite a competitive person, I don't like to lose - in fairness who does! I have constant competition with my husband, who can run the most each month, including the fastest mile and fastest 5k. My running buddy is also quite competitive and this means I now can't stop running, as that would be losing to her...not happening! I play scrabble with all of my family members and there is a definite pressure to win, thankfully my dad always "lets" me win...(sorry Dad)! Board games in our house are a genuine nightmare, not only am I competitive, I am a pants loser!! Whoever loses in my house is pretty much expected to be grumpy for the rest of the evening! Now here is where it gets worse... Today my daughter was allowed to bring home the nursery school teddy, Morris. I was instructed by my daughter that we had to do lots of fun things with Morris and then write about it in his diary - that was it - I was off!! This...

I thought I would send a little update on life with my little girl, as the last time I posted about this it was a heartbreaking read! Firstly, can I say Thank you! I was overwhelmed by the response from many of you, e-mailing, commenting, texting, sharing your stories with me and offering your words of wisdom - it was amazing. I hope for those of you still facing this battle this post offers hope and assurance of a better time... Josh and I had tried it all, we sat down and spoke with Kezzia about how much it was hurting me to see her respond this way - we put her in time out every time she wiped off hugs or kisses, to shown her it was naughty to treat Mummy in this way... But my nothing seemed to be working! So after much thought, counsel and prayer we decided to completely ignore it - we praised her for her positive behaviour and when she give me a cuddle or kiss, we OVER emphasised how lovely it made Mummy feel. The result was that initially she was highly confused as she was use...

As promised dear readers, I said I would write an explain more about life over the past few weeks. Life that has left me with so many emotions, today's post won't begin to unfold them but perhaps in time... Almost 3 weeks ago, an uncle, on my husband's side, was reported missing and within 24 hours his body was found and our quickly growing fears had become reality. At the age of 62 he had taken his own life, in a way I'm still battling to not visualize most days. It was to say the least a huge shock. Josh and I had no idea that his uncle had actually been quite unwell for sometime and although this was a shock to everybody, for us it came completely out of the blue. I write this blog, knowing that unfortunately there are few of us left in today's world that have not have to deal with this subject on quite a close and personal level. I unfortunately have had 2 situations leading to suicide in recent months and, this time more than ever it has been a rollercoaste...

It has been so long since I have written and I do apologise, life has thrown some curve balls our way over these past two weeks, which have resulted in spending today driving to Manchester for a family funeral. I will fill you in soon, I promise, once I come back to facing reality but in other news I have been battling with the subject of humility and here is where I'm at. I have recently been continuing my learning in the art of humility, something I fear I still have much learning to do. I do not feel like I am a particular boastful person, but I have been realizing I do hold pride in the appearance of not myself but my house... I have mentioned before I am a host and that I love to host,  however alongside this runs my desire to have a "host standard" house. This is very often un-obtainable in my house, 2 kids and an overly busy husband means I have little chance to clean! Over the last few weeks I have been knocked down a peg or two, and perhaps it is actually a g...

Not long after starting my blog I had an idea to write a blog entitled, "Is it just me?", talking about some area's of life and housework that baffle me! I think I noted that I would write one such blog entry every month - 3 months later and this is only the second one - perhaps there is a related blog all in itself! Recently however, I have been battling another constant household duty and am beginning to question if it just me? Let me set the scene and bring you through a short journey! It all begins often on the bedroom or bathroom floor, the owner is simply desperate for bed and sleep and these items are discarded, they land on the floor and await stage two. Next they sometimes get fired into a tall wicker basket or pop up monkey shaped tube on the upstairs landing, before eventually making their way downstairs to the machine. This is quite an achievement, and great success if often felt when this stage of the journey is completed - a task has been done. However the...

This evening I write feeling very deflated dear readers! I am struggling, struggling with my daughter, not in a naughty way but rather in a heart wrenching way! It has always been a clear sign that my daughter is a "Daddy's Girl", 100% through and through daddy's! This I love. I love that Daddy is her hero, the one she runs to for safety, for laughter - he truly is her superhero - and I love that he is giving her an incredibly picture of what and how a man should be, it gives me great hope for her future choice of boyfriend/husband. However, here comes my struggle, in order to be a complete sell out Daddy's Girl, one has to be completely not a Mummy's Girl! This would be fine but life has become a struggle, my daughter won't let me kiss her, hug her, hold her and if she does it is only knowing that after she can wipe it off and put it back on me! It is ... Heart-breaking! As I have shared this with some they have told me to enjoy it,  enjoy that it is Da...

I am still here! It has been a while since I wrote last, life, Easter, family visits dramatically took over recent days and weeks in the Hardingham house, it's been incredibly fun but left little time for blogging or personal head space... but I return a little more in awe of this journey called life we are all adventuring on. Before I go on, I should mention, I am a massive Easter Celebrator! I love it, it is pretty much on par with Christmas in our house. This is of course massively due to my faith, Easter is more than just chocolate and Easter Egg hunts (though they are worth celebrating), but rather because of the death and ressurection of my Saviour, Jesus. This Easter, as always, left me overwhelmed by the grace of God in my life, and available to all. I am unashamed to say that I believe on Good Friday, Jesus was crucified on a cross, holding the failures of mankind on his shoulders, spending 3 days in a tomb that on Easter Sunday He rose to life, defeating death, overco...

Over the past couple of years, life has thrown many battles in my, and my family's direction. Personal battles such as pregnancy difficulties and miscarriages, struggles and battles with friendships, the regular struggles of being a mum; work struggles, as I recently changed role within my current employment at the church, there has been much confusion/debate over what my new role should actually entail add in the everyday battles of stretched finances, and life in generally. All of these battles and struggles meant I entered this year weary and breaking... Having recently had a second child I automatically put it down to being tired because of being up half the night, and I am sure that played a part. After this I went for numerous blood tests in order to check my thyroid, b12 and iron levels as it may have been a medical reason for my complete lack of energy and motivation for anything. However over the past weeks, God has revealed so much! My dear friend, Pastor and boss, h...

I cannot quite believe that my little girl is 3! It only seems moments ago that I was beginning my labour with her and anticipating life as a mum... Now 3 years later I am wondering how time has gone so fast and I have a proper little lady in my house. I thought I would share with you our birthday  weekend - another snippet into our little world. It begins every year with the cake, this year Kezzia had asked for a Princess castle cake and for some unknown reason! I agreed! I baked a totally of 4 Victoria Sponge cakes and purchased 2 Tesco Swiss Rolls, along with the various icing colours and frostings needed. After a gruelling couple of hours, I had what vaguely resembled a castle. I am perfectionist so never am I happy with what I produce, and this year was no exception, thankfully from far away it looked ok, so you get a glimpse. I then laid out the table for our special birthday breakfast, orange juice, pain au chocolate and my mother-in-laws scrummy homemade cinnamon ro...

I did say I would share Kezzia's delivery story nearer her birthday and so here it is. It all began on Mother's Day 2011, I was almost 39 weeks pregnant, incredibly fed up and in quite a lot of discomfort. My womb is upside down, which causes no effect in labour but means baby's weigh is not distributed as it should be during pregnancy, resulting in painful legs and hips! For this reason, I had tried everything, raspberry leaf tea, hot curries, walking, we even resulted to..you know!! But on Mother's Day about 8pm, I thought I had cashed in. It is probably not normal how much excitement came with my first contraction, the end of pregnancy had arrived. I awaited Josh's return from church and called the hospital. Their response was to stay at home until contractions were more regular. Being in pain and excited and nervous meant sleep was off the radar, so I sat with my mum, who had arrive from Ireland the previous day, and watched a film. Contractions continued but ...

Well, the day most mums long for all year has arrived! A hoped day of rest and relaxation, a day where your kids, your husband, boyfriend, anyone would take on the chores you the other 364 days of the year are expected to do. I remember Mother's Day as the day I went into labour 3 years ago, with my daughter, though she didn't arrive for a further 2 days! I will share the story closer to her birthday. For many however, today is not a happy day, it is a reminder that they are not yet mother's to their own children or those who are suffering with the news that they might never be able to carry and deliever their own child. So I do not want to spend this blog relishing in my own motherhood, I do that enough in this blog, but rather to thank and share with you my admiration for my own Mum. My mum is truly amazing, at the ages of fifty....something (i won't give to much away), she is just about to complete a degree in Theology and take on a new role as a Church of ...

I have been meaning to write this post for some time but other things have been getting in the way, but tonight at this unearthly hour, when I should be asleep, my brain is wide awake so here I am. I dedicate this blog to 6 amazing women, who have over the past 3 years become an intricate part of my world. Let's travel back in time, I arrived with my eldest child, just 6 weeks old, to my local Children & Family centre. I was still slightly in shock at the new role I had just taken on, completely sleep deprived and ridiculous nervous, with no idea was I was actually attending... What exactly is an "early parenting course"... I walked into a room where a number of other mums were sitting, chatting laughing and quietly made my way over to the corner, very grateful that 2 other mums had made this their first week. After getting over the "Kezzia, what an unusual name" phrase, I allowed myself to relax a little. What I wasn't prepared for was that some of...

Seeing as once again the subject, perhaps better termed, debate of breast feeding and bottle feeding is back in the news, I thought I would share my story. Growing up many of us ladies are painted this beautiful picture of breastfeeding, the most natural of all things. Babies are born and handed to the "glowing" mum and effortlessly begin feeding. Unfortunately for many of us this is not the reality of the situation. I had always imgined I would breast feed, I think most of us do. However during my preganacy on a routine visit to the doctor, she explained I had quite a severe pro-lactine deficiency. For those of you who don't know, pro-lactine is the hormone which instructions your body to produce breast milk. I was lacking, quite dramatically lacking in this. The doctor told me I needed to preapre myself for the possibility of not being able to breastfeed my child. You would think I would of preapred myself by getting some bottles, formula or at least researching what ...

My daughter's 3rd birthday is fast approaching and although it is a day of such excitement and fun, the days before have in the past 2 years become quite hard. For those of you faithful readers , you know that Josh and I have miscarried 3 of our precious children. However, what I have not mentioned in my previous blogs was that the baby of our third miscarriage had a due date of April 5th, Kezzia's birthday! The other two we lost would have been born in February. It is therefore hard to begin each year and start the birthday process without remembering that there are many birthday's in our house that will not be celebrated as we once wished. I treasure the two children I have the privilege of raising here on earth, but I do often wonder about those I did not get to meet. A dear friend of mine, recently sent me the link to another blog, where a woman shares about her wonderings about her own miscarried child. The blog was amazing and she has written it better than I ever c...

I thought I would share my day at the rugby with you, not my normal "mummy life", but it was so fun and an amazing day with my hubby! The atmosphere was amazing, we spent most of the day in the fan village, where we won a free pint each and Josh won a free t-shirt - happy days. Completely unexpected but we ended up standing by the entrance which the players arrive off the coach go through. It was amazing! I stood cheering as my boys exited the coach, grabbed their bags and headed inside... It was probably my highlight of the day! We grabbed our seats and thankfully I was sat next to a lovely Irish lad from Belfast, who had come with his English girlfriend, so we had much in common, despairing about ending up with partners from across the Irish Sea!! The match was epic, probably the best one in the 6 Nations so far and are seats allowed us to watch the action  perfectly. Throughout the game there was much banter between us all, many condoning Josh for having to live wit...

It's getting near that time when I am beginning to think about what presents my daughter would most enjoy for her birthday. Like most little girls, she is obsessed with Disney princesses and anything that goes with them, so the likely choice is to get something along these lines. However, I'm not completely at peace with that decision. Now I will state, that I am well aware a lot of you reading this will in a moment or two, begin to think I am a completely over the top mother and I need to chill out! But I do not apologise for what I am about to say, nor am I seeking to inflict my view upon anyone else, this is just me! So, I have obviously been reading the Disney princess stories to my daughter, a lot, recently, and I have come to feel very uneasy about them. Is this really the right thing to be encouraging my a daughter to invest her time in? Let me give you a brief outline: Ariel: involves a crystal ball, a wicked witch and a desire to be someone different than who you w...

Well it's almost payday, a wonderful day that is always so overshadowed by bills, direct debits and standing orders. For me however, the greatest pain of payday is knowing "budget night" must precede. In the nights before pay day, Josh and I, painfully give up a rare evening of relaxing together to go through the calendar in a bid to work out our monthly budget. There are few people I have met who actual enjoy this activity, my father in law is one, yes I know, I do know someone who enjoys budgeting! In-laws are a rare breed, and should have a blog entry of their own (it will follow, one day)! For most of us however, budgeting is simply something we must do in order to keep track of our ever too quickly disappearing finances. My hubby and I are pretty pants at the whole thing and it is an evening and activity we have to seriously discipline ourselves to carry out. We have finally found a way that works for us and is allowing us to pay off the dreaded 'debt', tha...

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you feel loved today, if not by the man of your dreams, by the man of your reality!! Or for those amazing friends you surround yourself with. Today I am taking my daughter to a little Valentines Party with her friends and am trying to talk to her about how today is a special day of reminding people how much we love and appreciate them! Josh and I are not big celebrators of Valentines Day and he is working today so there will not be much romance in our house. However, I thought I would share a little of our lives with you: It was a total "love at first sight" moment! As I arrived at my University Halls over 6 years ago I saw Josh and knew I had picked the right Uni! This guy was hot and sure enough after a few mishaps, Josh forgetting my name, buying my friend a drink instead of me, we got together. We were in no mood to hang about and waste time so 4 months later we were engaged and married in January 2008. Josh is an incredible husban...

Well my dear readers, this past week has probably been the most testing I have yet undergone as a parent of two! I should start by saying that I am madly in love with my 2 children and cnsider them a giantic blessing from God and am privledged to witness them grow up.  Also I am not writting this for compliments and re-assurances that I am a good mum! I am simply sharing my life, because thankfully, I know I'm not alone! And for those of you who feel alone, I hope and pray you find comfort through my story! So my week..... My dear son has been refusing to eat and nap over the past few days. His teeth are coming through, poor chap and he is therefore struggling to eat and sleep. Instead of being the normal smiling, cuddly boy that he has been over the past 4 months, he is a dribbling, screaming little man - who is stuck in a circle of getting over tired and over-hungry but not being able to eat or sleep due to sore gums. It is so difficult to watch but also incredibly frustrating ...

I thought I should now let you in to another chamber of my life - yesterday was the beginning of the 6 nations and a great passion of mine! Rugby! Yes, I am a huge rugby fan, and a massive supporter of my boys in green! Every year, I wear my jersey religiously every weekend for the 6 nations and me and Josh battle it out, each rooting for our own countries, me for Ireland and him for England. I love my husband but over the next few weeks there are moments when we are "enemies"! Rugby is almost a built in passion to most Irish people, we are Irish therefore we support Rugby! So perhaps it is moving over to England, away from home, that has made me even more patriotic! I always promised myself I would never move here, I love being Irish and I loved living there, the culture, the people, the whole way of life - it's just me. I always thought of England as so boring, uptight and scheduled compared to what I was used to, and the thought of being here was not something I want...

I have recently entered the world of exercise classes. I have previously attended Zumba in order to regain some figure after having Kezzia, but second child means a bit more wobble and a lot more effort needed to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. I have no shame in admitting ... "I am a snacker" ... At about 7:30pm every night, my tummy alerts me to the fact it needs food! Not only it needs food but that it needs a variety of snacks, generally including crisps (my weakness), a custard tart, if available, and some chocolate. Christmas therefore is heaven for my tummy and unfortunately the following months, with food still lingering around not only do I have to fight against the baby jelly belly, but also the affects of my snacking habits! Therefore I decided that I need to get myself fully immersed into the fitness world. The result, I am now a bit of an exercise-class junkie! Zumba; Spinning; Cardio legs, bums & tums; Bodyattack; Bokwa and Sh'bam, I've tri...