The storm ends...

I thought I would send a little update on life with my little girl, as the last time I posted about this it was a heartbreaking read! Firstly, can I say Thank you! I was overwhelmed by the response from many of you, e-mailing, commenting, texting, sharing your stories with me and offering your words of wisdom - it was amazing. I hope for those of you still facing this battle this post offers hope and assurance of a better time...

Josh and I had tried it all, we sat down and spoke with Kezzia about how much it was hurting me to see her respond this way - we put her in time out every time she wiped off hugs or kisses, to shown her it was naughty to treat Mummy in this way... But my nothing seemed to be working! So after much thought, counsel and prayer we decided to completely ignore it - we praised her for her positive behaviour and when she give me a cuddle or kiss, we OVER emphasised how lovely it made Mummy feel. The result was that initially she was highly confused as she was used to get a reaction and suddenly there was no reaction. There were moments I had to try and prevent myself from laughing, as she would get as close to my face as she possibly could saying "Mummy Mummy I wiped off your kiss", I would respond by asking her which story we should read next, or what toy box we should get out to play with... The lack of attention drove her a little crazy and she soon realised that by hugging and playing nicely she got a lot more attention and that was worth it.

After a few days we laid off the overly enthusiastic praise for positive behaviour and noticed her behaviour did not revert back. Now we have our moments when she is angry or frustrated where she will wipe off a touch or kiss but generally life with Kezi is amazing. It has taken a massive turn and I am loving it:-)

So for those of you still facing this situation, keep hoping! I am proof that struggles don't last forever. Continue to pour out love, time and energy into your children, however they response - they do notice and regardless of their actions they need to see they are loved by us! I know it's hard I've been there but keep going. I will soon write about finding the ways our kids understand love and knowing which relates to your child. but for now, love them, love them unconditionally, regardless of their response.

Ironically, my younger son is the most clingy child I know - if I leave the room - he SCREAMS! It's safe to say by the time he's 2, I will have a cracking pair of biceps! Life is a funny thing!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ar aris go hEireann!

Image
Well, my dear readers it as come to the point that I must share with you a journey that I have been on for over a year. A journey that I have so longed to share with you but for various reasons it has remained a very private and personal journey until now. I am not ill, nor pregnant as most people seem to conclude when you begin a conversation like this but I will no longer be writting my blogs from the South Coast of England, a sunny place someone once told me, but rather from April this year my blog writting shall happen over the sea, on the green green grass of Ireland! It is time for me to return home! I cannot begin to tell you the range of emotions that venture around your body when you decide to up root and move your family to a new country, leaving behind the security of a job, a home, friends, such wonderful friends! I go from laughing with excitment to struck with fear and then end up in tears at the thought of those I won't see day to day... sounds silly when we are
Read more

Is it already Judgement Day?

At the family funeral I attended recently, Josh's aunt said something that has stuck with me since and has cause me to ponder many things. She said in relation to the death, through suicide of her husband: "we can choose to remember him by the circumstances around his death, this way allowing bitterness and anger to take root, or we can choose to remember the man we knew for the 60+ years before this! creating a memory of joy filled moments." Part of why that amazes me is because of the strength it must have taken to read that sentence in light of the circumstances but since it has made me think so much about how quickly we judge people and situations... Let me add a moment of light-heartedness to this post. A few weeks ago, it was my lovely friend's birthday, to help Josh and I offered to take her two boys out for a walk while her and her hubby organised the house. Now allow your imagination to wander as you see a young-ish couple walking toward you with what you m
Read more

#joy2021

Image
As we raised our traditional glasses of Asti to celebrate a new year, I like most of you had little awareness of what the twelve months before me held. For some of you faithful readers (it actually has been a long time since I wrote) you will know that Josh and I, prayerfully choose a word for each year on New Year's Eve. I am not into resolutions or claiming for a new me to begin on January 1st. Rather we take a word and allow that to shape our story over the coming twelve months. On January 2021, as we sat with our yearly planner, baked camembert, awaiting fireworks - we wrote 'JOY' over the chapter of 2021.  We had not taken many steps into 2021, before the wonderful experience of homeschooling, that so many of us found ourselves in, began - that joy was seeming a little less of a frequent visitor in our home. As the year went on, honestly, I felt loss, grief or even bizarre, would have better described the year than joy, or any other word for that matter. There were mom
Read more