A New Year
Happy New Year dear Readers - (yes I know it's incredibly late) once again it has been far too long since I sat down to share my musings and as always as the new year dawns, I commit to trying to be a more frequent visitor and writer.
Right now the truth is that life feels a little 'different', I am normally a huge fan of New Year. I love my New Years tradition of sitting in (like anyone would babysit on New Year's Eve!) with my husband planning and looking into the coming year, making plans discussing what our hopes for the year will be. All whilst enjoying a bottle of Asti and a baked camembert (that may be the best bit!)
This year however has been rather different - I went into the Christmas period rather exhausted from the day to day of work, an incredibly tough pastoral situation, family life and refereeing 3 children! Though the hope of that restful Christmas, shutting the door and sitting in my pj's was very quickly shaken.
As a family we had an incredibly tough time over Christmas, both my husband's family and mine suffering the death of a loved one. Both situations were very different and both incredibly painful, as all deaths are. We found ourselves swapping what was meant to be our recovering time to trying simply to survive the time! Wherever we stayed, or whoever we visited had been effected by one of the loses - I am not sure I am quite ready yet to talk more about those we lost, the memories and pain are still so very raw. However, the challenge of both lives immensely powerful and I feel at some point I will share it with you, on the hope you will be encouraged to live powerfully the days we have here, whether many or few!
Death is a strange thing, as a Christian it comes with the painful reality of having to let someone go duelled with the peace, maybe even joy, of knowing these 2 incredible women are in Heaven with the God whom they loved so dearly. There are so many questions, and ones which I know won't be answered my side of Heaven and learning to live in that unknown can be at times so difficult - I am sure you have felt this at times. Whatever you thoughts of life after death we all find ourselves in times of "the unanswered question".
Yet here is the strange reality, in the midst of such pain, grief and unanswered questions, I live with the unwavering hope that God journeys with me. Many ask the question "how could a loving God allow such suffering?" and this can cause many to query His love, but the flip side of that question is this one: "how can God love us so much that He choses to walk alongside us in those deepest moments of pain?" This is my God. The One who walks with me, leads me through those times of deepest suffering and unanswered questions.
I do not know dear readers your thoughts on leaving 2018, your situations as you entered this New Year, nor your hopes and dreams for 2019. But this I know:
Right now the truth is that life feels a little 'different', I am normally a huge fan of New Year. I love my New Years tradition of sitting in (like anyone would babysit on New Year's Eve!) with my husband planning and looking into the coming year, making plans discussing what our hopes for the year will be. All whilst enjoying a bottle of Asti and a baked camembert (that may be the best bit!)
This year however has been rather different - I went into the Christmas period rather exhausted from the day to day of work, an incredibly tough pastoral situation, family life and refereeing 3 children! Though the hope of that restful Christmas, shutting the door and sitting in my pj's was very quickly shaken.
As a family we had an incredibly tough time over Christmas, both my husband's family and mine suffering the death of a loved one. Both situations were very different and both incredibly painful, as all deaths are. We found ourselves swapping what was meant to be our recovering time to trying simply to survive the time! Wherever we stayed, or whoever we visited had been effected by one of the loses - I am not sure I am quite ready yet to talk more about those we lost, the memories and pain are still so very raw. However, the challenge of both lives immensely powerful and I feel at some point I will share it with you, on the hope you will be encouraged to live powerfully the days we have here, whether many or few!
Death is a strange thing, as a Christian it comes with the painful reality of having to let someone go duelled with the peace, maybe even joy, of knowing these 2 incredible women are in Heaven with the God whom they loved so dearly. There are so many questions, and ones which I know won't be answered my side of Heaven and learning to live in that unknown can be at times so difficult - I am sure you have felt this at times. Whatever you thoughts of life after death we all find ourselves in times of "the unanswered question".
Yet here is the strange reality, in the midst of such pain, grief and unanswered questions, I live with the unwavering hope that God journeys with me. Many ask the question "how could a loving God allow such suffering?" and this can cause many to query His love, but the flip side of that question is this one: "how can God love us so much that He choses to walk alongside us in those deepest moments of pain?" This is my God. The One who walks with me, leads me through those times of deepest suffering and unanswered questions.
I do not know dear readers your thoughts on leaving 2018, your situations as you entered this New Year, nor your hopes and dreams for 2019. But this I know:
My God longs to journey with you
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