Friendships...does this come with an instruction book?
Evening Readers, as promised I wanted to write about those harder areas of simplify that I said I would...
Such a simple word for an amazing gift we each have at our fingertips and perhaps I'm coming to learn a gift that we don't always know how to use - there's no instruction manual right?!
I remember sitting at one of my first lectures at University in England and being told to go and find a friend, an accountability partner, someone who can 'be your friend' and help keep you on track through this journey of education... I stood up from that lecture feeling a little lost. As I looked around the room, full of people who had yet to understand my accent, I felt a little lost! I listened to thoughts of: "Kat, find a friend, pick someone, QUICK Kat...else there will be no-one left..." run round my head. I picked one of the few people I had held a decent conversation with and asked... "Do you wanna be my friend?" (Readers, the cheesiness of it now makes me cringe). I was too late, she had already been asked. We attempted to join together in a small group but the reality, maybe one we should have verbally acknowledged, didn't work.
I sit now, 11 years later wondering if I had actually understood myself better, would I have lasting friendships from this chapter of life, real friendship, not just the Facebook kind. This area of building friendship can be such a mine field if we do not know how to walk through it: Are we the type who likes lots of friends or are we more suited to just a couple who really know us? Are these friendships going to be lifelong or seasonal, locational or miles-apart enduring? Do we even know to ask these questions? I can tell you, I was a dummy in this department.
Realising this has allowed me to enjoy the locational friendships and grab that cuppa when we find ourselves in the same place; be incredibly thankful for the seasonal friendships, people who carried me through certain seasons of life, that would be have been so much harder without them; and be intentional in the lifelong friendships, because these are the people that will visit me, when I'm old and grey! These recent chapters of life look a little more friendship filled as I learn to understand friendships a little better. Enjoying each one, for it's different role in my journey.
This feels a strange type of blog, readers but I hope you engage with it somehow and understand a little more of your own friendships through my ramblings...
Be confident in your friendship making abilities and enjoy each one be it for a time, a place or a life.
Such a simple word for an amazing gift we each have at our fingertips and perhaps I'm coming to learn a gift that we don't always know how to use - there's no instruction manual right?!
I remember sitting at one of my first lectures at University in England and being told to go and find a friend, an accountability partner, someone who can 'be your friend' and help keep you on track through this journey of education... I stood up from that lecture feeling a little lost. As I looked around the room, full of people who had yet to understand my accent, I felt a little lost! I listened to thoughts of: "Kat, find a friend, pick someone, QUICK Kat...else there will be no-one left..." run round my head. I picked one of the few people I had held a decent conversation with and asked... "Do you wanna be my friend?" (Readers, the cheesiness of it now makes me cringe). I was too late, she had already been asked. We attempted to join together in a small group but the reality, maybe one we should have verbally acknowledged, didn't work.
I sit now, 11 years later wondering if I had actually understood myself better, would I have lasting friendships from this chapter of life, real friendship, not just the Facebook kind. This area of building friendship can be such a mine field if we do not know how to walk through it: Are we the type who likes lots of friends or are we more suited to just a couple who really know us? Are these friendships going to be lifelong or seasonal, locational or miles-apart enduring? Do we even know to ask these questions? I can tell you, I was a dummy in this department.
My first ever friend, whose friendship began in a classroom in the bog roads of Ireland, remains a constant and regular one... but then there is this huge gap in my life where I seem to have been friends with everyone but made no lasting friendships. Do you have these chapters? Engaging with this idea of "simplify" has taught me so much about myself and how I do friendship and given a freedom to actually enjoy those I want to build friendships with - is it hard? you bet! Is it worth it? Without Doubt! The author, says there are 3 categories in which we can place our friends (metaphorically, we don't need to stick labels on each person we encounter!). 1)Friends for seasons, 2)Friends for locations and 3)Friends for life.
Realising this has allowed me to enjoy the locational friendships and grab that cuppa when we find ourselves in the same place; be incredibly thankful for the seasonal friendships, people who carried me through certain seasons of life, that would be have been so much harder without them; and be intentional in the lifelong friendships, because these are the people that will visit me, when I'm old and grey! These recent chapters of life look a little more friendship filled as I learn to understand friendships a little better. Enjoying each one, for it's different role in my journey. This feels a strange type of blog, readers but I hope you engage with it somehow and understand a little more of your own friendships through my ramblings...
Be confident in your friendship making abilities and enjoy each one be it for a time, a place or a life.
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