Simplified Living
Good Evening, you faithful readers. Life is a funny old thing and it baffles me at times that writing these simple posts can cause any interest. I feel I have spent much of this year in quite a pensive and reflective state - for many reasons but one decided on New Years Eve takes the place in this blog...
My hubby and I have created our own little, completely unsocial New Year's Eve Tradition (it's not like you can get a babysitter!) - we get a bottle of Asti, a baked camembert, crackers and reflect on the ending year - the good, the bad, the shock, the pain, the success, whatever comes to mind. We spend time discussing our hopes for the coming year and recently have tried to have a "word for the year". It sounds quite random but for us it has worked, it has given our year purpose and a strange sense of meaning amongst all the uncertainty that 12 months can bring. I have never written about these times before but for some reason this year and this word have drawn me to a blog post. The word in our house for 2018 - "simplify".
Our aim for this year was not to go about changing the world, changing our family, leaving a legacy by trying to be all things to all people but rather to simplify what we do - that life would become 'more simple in order to be more effective'; a concept the world of 2018 seems to push strongly against. What does it look like in our house?
It means that on December 31st/January 1st, we booked in family holidays, weddings, conferences, church events, family visits ... as much as possible ... so we have a vague idea of what our year looks like. Simple, but it gives us such an insight into knowing when we might need a family weekend away, after a busy work time, or a night away as a couple after a stress college period, when we will need to book flights and where from, days/weekends where we might need babysitters and we can start book them in, right there in January, simple...effective! The hardest part is we live in a country where forward planning does not happen as we'd like!!!
It means we sit each Sunday and as before do our budget, pray - but we now go through our diary and fill out our days - work time, family time, meetings, coffee dates, children's clubs, me time, date time - anything that is worth our time gets a spot in our diary. We plan in our "date time", some dedicated family time. Each week planned into our time is an opportunity to do something that we love, something just for "me"!! It sounds simple we all fill in our time right? Right but we can do this passively or actively. We have found even in this past 6 weeks that being decisive and pro-active about how we manage our time has lead us to be more effective in each area. It sounds silly to think events can end up in our diary by accident, but in reality it's what can happen! Haven't we all ended up in meetings where we think - "How did I end up here?" Or get to the end of the week and think "What did I do with my partner this week?" or "What did I do just because I enjoy it?" Those events now get booked in my diary. (Not all things in there are good my running now get a place in my diary...)! simple ... effective!
It means we have simplified our marriage, we've gone back to basics - we have "date time" every week in our diary - that is guarded time, (There are RARE times this has to change, like when your dad ends up in hospital, a story for another day maybe, or if something else urgent arises)! It's not about money or going out to dinner (it mainly involves a bag of crisps and a board game...who said romance is dead!), it's about saying to each other that allotted time just the two of us is important enough to be in my diary. If other invites are given, they can be politely declined because "we are already booked at that time". I hope it doesn't come across as rude, rather it is an awareness that our marriage is important and our time together is worth protecting. I'm not just going to let that time 'happen, or not happen' each week. Even if we have a crazy week of meetings, clubs and college, we know that our time that week is written in the diary. ... simple ... effective!
It means that family rules and responsibilities are a lot less stressful. There is now a morning plan written out in our house and the children get up and go through the list, ticking off each item as it's completed until they are ready for school - if time allows they play, if not we head off, simple ... but I cannot write readers how effective this step has been. We have gone from fights/nagging almost every morning to get to school/nursery on time to being able to walk out the house almost every morning in good humour and ready to adventure through the day.
It has come with challenges to: I have been learning hard things about friendship, purpose and work - when things are simplified it is effective yes, but it can be tough work and painful at times. I have had to admit my wrong in area's, step out of things that I had been involved in, laid down a desire in me to be all things to all people ( I know I can't be, but actively trying to simplify life quickly made me see that although I knew that, I didn't always act that!)
I promise to write again dear readers and share some of those harder aspects of simplify that I have and still am learning through, but for now I hope I have I some small way inspired you to live out life in the simplified lane.
simple ... effective...
Our inspiration for 2018 came from the following book: http://www.simplifybook.com/
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